Its midnight already, I was also about to sleep when i was filled with the memories of one of my buddie’s past relationship. As he was very very close to me, so i completely remember his sufferings in love. The sufferings which one has to face while being on a long distance relationship. He was in a long distance relationship for past two years. I thought of sharing my views on such long distance relationships,so i am here.
A 100 by 150 feet hall, one hundred and twenty five people (120 students and 5 readers) around you, and you are seated in the middle of the hall. In front of you is a senior faculty reader delivering some lecture on a very crucial topic of engineering drawing and you are watching straight in the projector board. There is only one difference between you and other ones present there and that being that you are not able to comprehend a single word spoken by reader, not able to understand even the topic on which the lecture is going on, you have no track of time and you don’t realise what you are doing there. If such is the case with you, then something is seriously wrong with you. I would like to begin with the story of my friend who reached this condition while being on a long distance relationship. His life was a total mess and he reached a condition when he became unable to sort out even the day to day problems.
The basic reason was his complicated relationship status. He was in a healthy relationship with one of her school friends and he loved her with all the dedication. The situations changed when they picked up colleges in different cities and settled there.
As i was with them from the very beginning of their teaching love story, i want you people to know that a time was when their relationship was ideal. They merrily hanged out with each other, used to have fun together & most important of all completed each other’s lives. When after completion of schooling the love birds came to realise that they can’t be near to each other and have to get separated, with their full will power they decided to go for a long distance relationship. Everything went quite good for some time but then the tables started turning. With the advancement of time his relationship became so complicated that nowadays he can be easily found in a condition similar to that one in the ED hall.
Let’s see what actually happens when two people go for a long distance relationship.
STEP I –
In the very first step, the couple generally decides and pledges to make their relationship a successful one. They think that they will do anything and everything possible to keep the situations under control and would never let their love die.
STAGE II –
The next step is discovering and going fully dependent over the new ways of communication. Everybody chooses the cell phones on the very first place and then also begin to make use of online chat, messaging and in some cases offline postal services.
STAGE III –
Next in the stages of far distance relationship comes the constanto-static phase. In this duration the major problem which most of people in LDR suffers from is getting in grip of a hard-core routine. This routine generally consist of completing the daily chores and then talking or chatting with the loved one for the time period varying from 5 minutes to 2 hrs in some cases. The majority of the talks is made up description of the things they did during the whole day. Some people which are more passionate even try to get information about every thing that their partner did in whole day. They contact each other multiple times in a day and talk extensively which sometime also result in apparent hearing malfunction caused by talking extensively on phone.
The major consequence which surfaces during this phase of relationship is frustration. The duo starts to get frustrated occasionally initially and then frequently. This usually happens due to lack of change, positive energy and excitement in the relationship.
Even in case, if we single people have to undergo a same routine for quite a very long time, we start getting frustrated and run for some fun or sport activities to have some change in life. Then it is obvious that the condition of such unlucky committed people on a long distance relationship can become pathetic at times. For them the only fun and best way to feel happy is to meet with their beloved one & so when they are unable to do this, they get frustrated to a very high level and start messing up their life.
STAGE IV –
At the next stage of long distance relationship their can be two alternative outputs possible. The first one is when the people involved get a chance to meet and to spend some quality time with their partners. If so happens the general output is rejuvenation of the relationship .They together fight with all the negative energy and clear out all the issues that mushroomed during the time that passed. The old feel of love regenerates and they again start with the very first stage.
On the other hand, the unlucky ones are pushed towards the other route. They are the ones who are generally on a very long distance relationship or circumstances are such that they are not unable to meet each other. So, their frustration gradually increases and start converting into hopelessness and negative attitude.
From here onwards come a phase of misunderstandings. As in case of my buddy, he also had to go through the second route. He and his girlfriend started picking up fights with each other on a daily basis. If we try to check out the reasons of such misunderstandings they are generally, “Why didn’t you receive my call?” “Why you always take so much time in replying with a simple text message which hardly requires a minute??” “What’s wrong with you, your phone either always is not reachable or is busy???”
Such small small issues pile on and form a heap so heavy that eventually it becomes very tough to bear. This is the biggest drawback of a long distance relationship. The good part, your beloved one is not with you while the bad part, the misunderstandings associated always keep on increasing.
To add to these miseries 😦 surfaces the insecurity factor. This insecurity factor is usually one of the most widespread reason of (one’s upon a time) happy couples breaking up. When two people loving each other have to remain away from each other’s sight for a long time, their minds usually come up with crap like as in a boy’s case-
He start thinking “Nowadays she don’t message me that regularly as she used to, it may be possible that she could have befriended someone other. After all I am not there to keep her happy at all the times.” In case of a gals, they start thinking- “His phone always come busy whenever i call him. It seems he is increasing his contacts. What if there are girls also in his new contacts? And what if he meets some girl better than me and the girl come after him?”
So, this suspecting behaviour combined with misunderstandings generated by frustration leads to heavy complications in relationships.
These complications are generally either a start of the ending of a once beautiful relationship or a start of a phase of depression for a once happy people.
This stage can be considered as a nearly ultimate stage as this stage decides the future of the relationship. From here onwards, some people take the route of freedom, breaking off the relationship while the rest keep on holding despite of being stressed. As per my personal observation and analysis this ratio is nearly 90:10 in present scenario in every 100 test subjects.
The ones breaking the relationship, according to me lose the battle of love. They are the people who can be categorized as cowards. Many times such people regret about their action later in life when they have nothing left to lose with them.
The left ones, who hold on with all their strength, completes this final stage of long distance relationship with their persistence and dedication towards each other & their love. Although they have to struggle a lot, but these LDR experiences teach them how much they matter for each other and never let them forget it during any circumstances of life. They live happily together forever and achieve success in their lives.
So, before going on a LDR, one must for sure analyze oneself that weather he/she is able to bear the stress level of such complicated relationships or not. Living in a healthy relationship improves the personality of a person in all and establishes the person as a successful personality. 🙂