It was the third day of my isolation from the world in the little cozy room of my hostel. I was trying to come over from the traumas which I have been getting in a regular interval of time for last few months. Like a very optimistic creature, I have been sitting in my room searching for all the happiness and hope left in my life. It was midnight and when the dim light, hustle of fan and noise from the ground floors became unbearable, I stood up, wore my jeans and left room with my cell phone switched off. It was dark outside. Night never comes in a boy’s hostel. But outside the cruel world sleep and wake up at fixed times. It was dark outside and I started walking towards the road which passed along our premises. The road generally remains empty during day also because it doesn’t lead to any important destination. But I have always taken that way in my life. I proceeded without looking back. I lost track for how much time I have been walking. I walked, walked and walked. At some places I heard my name being called by my friends and the people who care for me. But I didn’t stop. I put my head down so that I have not to look into eyes of anyone. Although I was alone. There was no one ever.
The only reason I have been walking was because I liked that particular path. I was committed to my self to take that only path. I walked for hours, for days, for weeks, months and then years. I stopped to take rest sometimes but never took a break. I never once got frightened. My hands, legs, body and heart got bruised with the thorns, ditches and insults of the path. But I never succumbed. There was a wish which I cherished, which I believed would come true when the road ended. And I continued walking.
After walking for years in the scorching sun and chilling colds, I ultimately reached there. It was stunning. It appeared to be a hilltop. I was filled with nostalgia, happiness, pain and joy all in once. When I approached closer, something happened which I never expected. It suddenly became very dark….dark as if it was midnight. I always feared nights. I never wanted to be awake in nights. I closed my eyes tightly. After some time I slowly opened my eyes. I hoped that it was dawn already. Yes it was. But not in the way I thought. The door in front of me was closed. On the other two sides there were walls. I looked behind in the hope that the way which brought me here was still there. But it was gone. There was only a very deep unending depth which meant end. There was no way back. I sat there on my knees looking at the door with tears in my eyes. Hoping that somebody would see it someday, I wrote on the door with the blood dripping- “Why she just can’t let me in??”
Disclaimer- A crap product of depressed state. Read with care. 😦