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Monthly Archives: May 2013

10 Things a guy should know. Facebook Nautankiya Part 2.

The last article was a huge hit. Surprised how I was able to reach this many of hearts. Thank you a lot guys. 🙂

Being in an engineering college is a fun. They all come and merge together, to form a lot of friend circles, and a vivid collection of socio-cultural cocktails. 

When I first came in college, the first place where I came to know most of the names of my now friends, was facebook. And the journey has never ended from then. From juniors, to seniors, facebook always has been connecting us.

  1. “Naam, native, branch pata hai mere baju wale sir ka harami?” A senior asked during one of the GR, “2 ghante me pata kar lena!” And nobody came to rescue but Facebook.
  2. “Dude, the chick dancing on forces freshers was smoking hot!” And the first thing to be done was dropping her a request on facebook 😉
  3. “Okay guys, from now on, all official updates of classes will be shared on facebook. GT’s, Assignment Photographs” to confessions, compliments and proposals, our facebook life has come a long way.

Though during these three years, I also realised what a guy should know before entering an engineering college about being on facebook.

  1. Study- Never ever, ever, make your timeline look like you are some kind of nerd. Keep the study talks to your head. Never ever ask anybody, how much he/she has studied, anywhere on facebook. Disregarding this may lead you ending up in offline chat lists, unsubscribed acquaintances list, and even blocked lists.
  2. Never, ever tell anyone where are you, (check in), unless either you are with some hot chick, or with a whole gang. Checking in at some mediocre restaurant with room mate of yours make you look like a douche.
  3. Profile Pictures- Guys! The world is biased. Pretty dps make it very easy for girls to survive online. They get followers on twitter and requests on facebook, just by their dps. So, unless you think your dp hasn’t got any eerie factor attached to it, never make it your dp.
  4. Cover Photos- This is something that is public. Use it to cover your ass in as good way as possible. Quote a legend, (like I’ve done), or put something that makes you look like an interesting persona. Humour also helps. Never put the same picture of your dp as your cover pic. It’s just sad.
  5. Bio- Actually, this is irrelevant, unless someone comes stalking for your email. Anyhow, never put something that puts your image in jeopardy. When I was first filling this on my profile, I realised this and so spammed that column so badly that it’s just bloody unreadable.
  6. Status Updates- It is a very important part. Never post status updates that are either incomprehensible to a major part or are drunk scribbled
  7. Video Posts- Never post videos you haven’t seen. It’s quite simple. Isn’t it? People do post videos they themselves haven’t seen.
  8. Birthdays- Guys, this is a cruel world. Not many guys, who are straight simply gives a fuck how you look with your face covered in cake. And as far as girls are concerned, they simply are too busy watching their own pics. So, not as a suggestion, as a request, please never ever post your own birthday pics. They look simply sick and in most of the cases, lead to the dire consequences listed above. Though if you decide to do trekking or paragliding on your birthday instead, you are most welcome on facebook. 😀
  9. Result- When you are in an Engineering college, you should know a fact. No matter how were the papers, no matter how much you scored, there are always many people in your batch that end up screwing their results. They may be your very good friends as well. So, unless you are sure that each and every of your facebook buddy has made it to the top, never post your damn good percentage and marks. I have seen people even posting their individual marks of every subjects, blabbering how they broke record of highest marks in college. And some even cross the limits, posting a status about 80% marks and telling how much better they could have done. It is something like an online murder guys. Refrain from this. 😀
  10. And guys, staying online for 20 hours a day is not going to help you in any way. Enough Said. 😀

Cheers to Jukkerbarg 😀 Stay blessed 🙂

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Posted by on May 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
 
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