You know you are watching a Bollywood flick, when the Heroine, in the name of dance, start madly rotating on the screen, taking off one piece of cloth at a time, and suddenly one guy shouts,
“Are koi to rok lo..”
“Sala Mayya Kasam, kya trailor aaya hai be Dhoom 3 ka, dekha ki nai” someone rushed in my room a few weeks back.
Same weeks later, we were having this conversation, “Benchho, 270 rupe ka ticket hai be PVR pe, ho paega kya? Bol raha hai selling fast.”
“Nai be, ruk jao somvar tak, Katrina ne to vahi rehna hai”
“Haan be, Somvar subh 11 baje ka le aa ticket”
Sceptic as hell, after contemplating the idea of watching the much awaited Bollywood flick for three whole days, finally we went to see the worst nightmare. This post is what has been going on for a few last months in Bollywood, or say years.
1. For every single critic thrashing the movie, the movie earns a little over ten crores. So, be it the Tare Zameen Par and Christian Bale dilemma of Amir Khan, the Kamli (What the fuck does that even mean?) Katrina Kaif, the fucked up screenplay of Chennai Express, or the mind fucking action sequences of Krrish3. This is a fact.
2. Gone are the days when women in Bollywood meant portrayal of power and development. Or acting. We are long past that. Screenplay writers to Directors, all now just seem to believe in only objectifying them on screen. Be it the Kidnapping (the sole thing she was assigned to do) of Priyanka Chopra in K3, or the goddamn four dialogues of Kat in D3. (Yes, pretty much four).
3. If you can’t be original, steal. All the actors, spot boys, cameraman, (spare the writers) of x-men franchise must have thought the idea of living on planet earth all over again when they would have come across K3. Same goes for Christo Nolan and Louis Leterrier for D3. This is just fucking sad. Isn’t it? We are an independent nation and we don’t give a single flying fuck to what they say about us, I know. But reality check, whenever you come across someone who makes you realize how much dignity we are losing in this wild rush of Bollywood producers to shatter each other’s records, talking internationally, you definitely feel sad. Stumbling around the web,
I found this- (Piratebay) (Check out the comment by that dude Jack)
When everybody was expecting some cool stuff in K3, they got the Indian masala version of x-men, and when we were expecting some portrayal of robberies, carried out in an elegant way, we come home seeing Aamir only running madly and Chicago PD chasing him like amateurs.
Last I remember, bank robberies in States was a federal crime, and feds somehow try to shoot down the culprits, instead waiting for them to elope. Well, that was it. The essence is, they expect us to put our minds locked up at home while watching their movies, yet they act all grumpy when someone make a fool out of them. On a lighter note- check out this AIB video if you haven’t seen it yet.
And brace yourself, another Salman movie is lined up where he is playing Arvind Kejriwal revised all over. Jaii Ho!