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Bhai, “Teri wali” !

Welcome back. Just a week back, I received a mail from wordpress telling me how you guys have been such a support to take the total views close to 30K! Thank you guys. 
In the last post, I wrote how every guy has got that one girl that is his. Half of my friends, seniors, juniors are committed. Rest are single. But everybody has a girl. Most of you, which live with a gang of guys, would get this post quite correctly. To start, let us look at some typical conservation in a boy’s gang.
“Bhai, teri wali dikhi thi aj”
“Bhai, tumhari wali ne coaching me top kiya”
“Sir, apki wali ka call aa raha hai apke phone pe, headphone nikalo”
“Sir, madam ke sath ja rahe ho aj sham ko, ya apan chale chicken khane?”
These are the typical sentences which are used in conversations in a boy’s hostel, or in a gang of guys who hang out together. Not taking the names of the girls is not a thing that is out of disrespect. Instead, guys do this, as a matter of fact, to show respect, or sometimes, to have fun of each other.
There is a friend of mine. Single, officially, committed secretly. No need to get confused, single because the girl doesn’t love him. Now, we usually hang out together many nights. Have dinner together, and then usually go to the local chai wala at the Ring Road. Now what the charm is, we, me, and the other buddies, always address that girl as ‘’Bhai, Teri Wali” talking to him. And that day, to our surprise, he responded, “Bhai, Kahan meri wali be”. With a sad expression. So, we asked him, with sheer surprise, “Kyu bhai, Kya hua?” And he replied, “Kuch nai be, meri wali kahan hui, she doesn’t need me”. And this sent me thinking, what actually the psychology of we guys is, a girl is ours, if we think, we are the ones who are responsible for her well being.
There is a basic difference in a guy, and a girl. That is, how a guy and a girl, perceive a relationship. Starting with a girl, she considers herself single, until the day, she gets officially in a relationship, with a guy proposing to her, with all the mainstream stuff.
For a guy, living is always tough. There are pressures from the society, peers, and parents. Pressure to achieve something in life so that everybody doesn’t call him a vella. And then, when it comes to a girl, a guy gets committed the moment he falls for a girl. And that’s when that girl becomes “uski wali” for his guys. That girl, at that moment, maybe with someone else, but once deemed as “uski wali”, she is “uski wali”, until something drastic happens, like entry of a new girl, prior of him getting committed officially with that girl. 😛
What I want to bring forth is, how the world, especially girls perceive this coining of them in such a manner. If ever, one of your guy will say, “Bhai teri wali aa rahi hai”, and the girl listens, she will say, definitely, later to the guy, “Kitne chichore dost hain tumhare, mat raha karo aese logo ke sath!”
They think, it is guys cheap mentality, disrespect for them that they talk in this manner. But dear girls, if this had been the case; we would never address our seniors the way the last two dialogues were written above. What makes guys talk in this manner is the deep understanding they have. When a girl is deemed as your girl in our guy’s gang, she automatically secures a place for which there is always respect and dignity. And it would come as surprise to many girls reading this post, but sincerely, you need to know, that your guy also thinks you as “Meri wali”. And this is because, he thinks, that you are his. And when he thinks this way, you are probably a lucky girl. Because no matter what, if he think you as hers, then trust me, you have got someone in your life who truly cares about you. Girls are generally nagging that their guys don’t give them time they deserve, cheat upon them, talk about other girls, prefer their guys over them, but the truth is, if you have some guy like this in your life, then certainly, someone unfailingly thinks about you, every night before he go to sleep.
Some girls might think this post baseless, to them. You can’t ever test how much a guy cares about you, unless that guy is a bit cheesy and keeps telling you how much he loves you. But if you want to know the truth, take the guy to a Jungle, and tell him that you met an accident, or you are in serious trouble. See, then, how that guy will move earth and heaven, just to come to you. Even if you are not committed to him, even you have another boyfriend. But since he had given you a place as “Meri wali,” or now to say more correctly, his girl, you are his. Nothing else matters to him. That indirectly makes the things much easier for girls. They have always got someone to care for them. And that’s when a guy usually gets on a receiving end. Taken as granted, he is deprived of all the happiness that he deserves. That is when movies like Pyar ka Panchnama come into picture. And then, when the guy breaks, he gets tired of this, the girl becomes a bitch from “uski wali”. And then boys are the bad guys. But look, who make them like this?
So, dear girls next time you realise that you had became a guys girl, just walk to him and try to clear out the things. Because, doesn’t matter how much that guy is smart mentally, you are inside a part of him, which is insulated from any logical thing, and is very fragile. Unless, you want to be deemed a bitch later.
And, to all boys, Guys, we rock. For all the women we love 😉 Cheers !

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Friendship, Love

 

Missing Real Bad.

Missing something, someone is a part of everybody’s world.

Hard you try, hard it becomes. Hard to remember, hard to forget. Inevitably, at one or other point, someone come, who make you miss him/her for the rest of your life. Generally what people do  is to capture those images so deep, that they become blurred with the strokes of time. But blurring is only illusional, as there is nothing as ‘erasable’ in this little globe of human feelings.

Now it is a long time since I came in Indore. I also missed my home, my little group of people that were meaning of life to me. Time flew, I am no abnormal or extraordinary guy, no abnormal or extraordinary human, I also eventually started moving on. It was a year before It took me to get that why I am here. I missed that little world, of course. Everybody does.

I would cry. Sometimes. But guys are not supposed to cry. They are not supposed to be weak. But to be truthful, I was in love then. Or whatever they call it. Yes, it’s better, not love, but whatever they call it. Reason being, that I haven’t figured it out yet. Neither do I want to. So I would not cry because I missed them. I cried because I imagined them crying. Time flew. Again.

New world, new people, new things, new chores, new days, new festivals, new birthdays, new evenings, new outings, new songs, new movies, new clothes, new roads, new squares, new trees, new birds, new things, new people, new world,…new me.

I missed them, they missed me too. I miss them still, and they miss me too. But out of all, I always wonder why I can’t sleep. Why I can’t eat. Why I can’t sing, I can’t listen.

Its always dark that’s appealing. It lets you to identify yourself. Within yourself. Brightness always blind. Dark came, I went with it. Decide that you will find and you always find. It is me. Sad but fact. It is me that I miss the most. It is myself that I lost with this time. I miss being me, true me, the silent observer. This being my case.

I ask you. Whom do u miss the most? Your family? Your love? Your life that was so simple once? Or yourself?

A long time since last time I penned something. Things  were keeping max out of me busy. First of all a hearty thanks to the subscribers, visitors, and critics of the page. Your comments and likes are the most valuable rewards.

                                                                From two days before, when I decided to finally again write something, I was pretty sure that the upcoming one would not be in the dark. But then today only I realised, dark is easy to depict, to narrate, as it is not very difficult to find. 😀

So, apologies to everyone who adviced not to write like a dukhi aatma. 😀

 
 

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32 facts about boys-

  • Guys don’t actually look after good looking girls, they prefer neat and presentable girls.

  • Guys hate flirts.
  • When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
  • Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
  • When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
  • Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
  • Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
  • When you touch a guy’s heart, there is no turning back.
  • When a girl says ”no” a guy heart hears it as “try again tomorrow”.
  • You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
  • Guys love their  MOMS.
  • A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch, just to get you a couple of roses.
  • You can never understand him, unless you listen to him.

  • If a guy tell you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
  • Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
  • Like eve, girls are guy’s weakness.
  • Guys are very open about themselves.
  • It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
  • Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
  • Guys really admire girls that like even if they’re not that much pretty.
  • If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
  • A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
  • Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.
  • Guys think too much.
  • Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
  • Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy.
  • Guys tends to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls.
  • Guys are more talkative than girls are, especially when topic is about girls.
  • You can truly say that a guy has good intentions, if you see him praying sometimes.
  • If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
  • Guys hate girls who overreact.
  • Guys love you more than you love them. If they are serious in your relationship.

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2011 in Love

 

Long Distance Relationship

Its midnight already, I was also about to sleep when i was filled with the memories of one of my buddie’s past relationship. As he was very very close to me, so i completely remember his sufferings in love. The sufferings which one has to face while being on a long distance relationship. He was in a long distance relationship for past two years. I thought of sharing my views on such long distance relationships,so i am here.
A 100 by 150 feet hall, one hundred and twenty five people (120 students and 5  readers) around you, and you are seated in the middle of the hall. In front of you is a senior faculty reader delivering some lecture on a very crucial topic of engineering drawing and you are watching straight in the projector board. There is only one difference between you and other ones present there and that being that you are not able to comprehend a single word spoken by reader, not able to understand even the topic on which the lecture is going on, you have no track of time and you don’t realise what you are doing there. If such is the case with you, then something is seriously wrong with you. I would like to begin with the story of my friend who reached this condition while being on a long distance relationship. His life was a total mess and he reached a condition when he became unable to sort out even the day to day problems.
The basic reason was his complicated relationship status. He was in a healthy relationship with one of her school friends and he loved her with all the dedication. The situations changed when they picked up colleges in different cities and settled there.
As i was with them from the very beginning of their teaching love story, i want you people to know that a time was when their relationship was ideal. They merrily hanged out with each other, used to have fun together & most important of all completed each other’s lives. When after completion of schooling the love birds came to realise that they can’t be near to each other and have to get separated, with their full will power they decided to go for a long distance relationship. Everything went quite good for some time but then the tables started turning. With the advancement of time his relationship became so complicated that nowadays he can be easily found in a condition similar to that one in the ED hall.
Let’s see what actually happens when two people go for a long distance relationship.
STEP I –
In the very first step, the couple generally decides and pledges to make their relationship a successful one. They think that they will do anything and everything possible to keep the situations under control and would never let their love die.
STAGE II –
The next step is discovering and going fully dependent over the new ways of communication. Everybody chooses the cell phones on the very first place and then also begin to make use of  online chat, messaging and in some cases offline postal services.
STAGE III –
Next in the stages of far distance relationship comes the constanto-static phase. In this duration the major problem which most of people in LDR suffers from is getting in grip of a hard-core routine. This routine generally consist of completing the daily chores and then talking or chatting with the loved one for the time period varying from 5 minutes to 2 hrs in some cases. The majority of the talks is made up description of the things they did during the whole day. Some people which are more passionate even try to get information about every thing that their partner did in whole day. They contact each other multiple times in a day and talk extensively which sometime also result in apparent hearing malfunction caused by talking extensively on phone.
The major consequence which surfaces during this phase of relationship is frustration. The duo starts to get frustrated occasionally initially and then frequently. This usually happens due to lack of change, positive energy and excitement in the relationship.
Even in case, if we single people have to undergo a same routine for quite a very long time, we start getting frustrated and run for some fun or sport activities to have some change in life. Then it is obvious that the condition of such unlucky committed people on a long distance relationship can become pathetic at times. For them the only fun and best way to feel happy is to meet with their beloved one & so when they  are unable to do this, they get frustrated to a very high level and start messing up their life.
STAGE IV –
At the next stage of long distance relationship their can be two alternative outputs possible. The first one is when the people involved get a chance to meet and to spend some quality time with their partners. If so happens the general output is rejuvenation of the relationship .They together fight with all the negative energy and clear out all the issues that mushroomed during the time that passed. The old feel of love regenerates and they again start with the very first stage.
On the other hand, the unlucky ones are pushed towards the other route. They are the ones who are generally on a very long distance relationship or circumstances are such that they are not unable to meet each other. So, their frustration gradually increases and start converting into hopelessness and negative attitude.
From here onwards come a phase of misunderstandings. As in case of my buddy, he also had to go through the second route. He and his girlfriend started picking up fights with each other on a daily basis. If we try to check out the reasons of such misunderstandings they are generally, “Why didn’t you receive my call?” “Why you always take so much time in replying with a simple text message which hardly requires a minute??” “What’s wrong with you, your phone either always is not reachable or is busy???”
Such small small issues pile on and form a heap so heavy that eventually it becomes very tough to bear. This is the biggest drawback of a long distance relationship. The good part, your beloved one is not with you while the bad part, the misunderstandings associated always keep on increasing.
To add to these miseries 😦 surfaces the insecurity factor. This insecurity factor is usually one of the most widespread reason of (one’s upon a time) happy couples breaking up. When two people loving each other have to remain away from each other’s sight for a long time, their minds usually come up with crap like as in a boy’s case-
He start thinking “Nowadays she don’t message me that regularly as she used to, it may be possible that she could have befriended someone other. After all I am not there to keep her happy at all the times.” In case of a gals, they start thinking- “His phone always come busy whenever i call him. It seems he is increasing his contacts. What if there are girls also in his new contacts? And what if he meets some girl better than me and the girl come after him?”
So, this suspecting behaviour combined with misunderstandings generated by frustration leads to heavy complications in relationships.
These complications are generally either a start of the ending of a once beautiful relationship or a start of a phase of depression for a once happy people.
This stage can be considered as a nearly ultimate stage as this stage decides the future of the relationship. From here onwards, some people take the route of freedom, breaking off the relationship while the rest keep on holding despite of being stressed. As per my personal observation and analysis this ratio is nearly 90:10 in present scenario in every 100 test subjects.

The ones breaking the relationship, according to me lose the battle of love. They are the people who can be categorized as cowards. Many times such people regret about their action later in life when they have nothing left to lose with them.
The left ones, who hold on with all their strength, completes this final stage of long distance relationship with their persistence and dedication towards each other & their love. Although they have to struggle a lot, but these LDR experiences teach them how much they matter for each other and never let them forget it during any circumstances of life. They live happily together forever and achieve success in their lives.
So, before going on a LDR, one must for sure analyze oneself that weather he/she is able to bear the stress level of such complicated relationships or not. Living in a healthy relationship improves the personality of a person in all and establishes the person as a successful personality. 🙂

 
11 Comments

Posted by on March 12, 2011 in Love, Relationships

 
 
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