RSS

There Is A Krrish Inside You, So Call A Doctor

Ashish Shakya

I watched Krrish 3 in a theatre packed with whatever you call those little humans that are composed entirely of Happy Meals, and the film can pretty much be summed up by the following conversation that I overheard:

Mother: It was –

Young girl: (interrupting) Awesome!

Mother: Absurd!

Young girl: Nooo. Awesome!

Mother: *puts child up for adoption*

Yes, kids will love this film, but then again, they also love to eat mud so what do they know? Having said that, Krrish 3 isn’t nearly as bad as the promos made it out to be, even though Hrithik refuses to ditch that raincoat made out of garbage bags. Seriously, every time I see his billowing lehenga, I imagine him tittering and trying to hold it down while Marilyn Monroe goes 6000 rpm in her grave.

This instalment actually has a story, which was written in collaboration with the writers of…

View original post 623 more words

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

10 Things a guy should know. Facebook Nautankiya Part 2.

The last article was a huge hit. Surprised how I was able to reach this many of hearts. Thank you a lot guys. 🙂

Being in an engineering college is a fun. They all come and merge together, to form a lot of friend circles, and a vivid collection of socio-cultural cocktails. 

When I first came in college, the first place where I came to know most of the names of my now friends, was facebook. And the journey has never ended from then. From juniors, to seniors, facebook always has been connecting us.

  1. “Naam, native, branch pata hai mere baju wale sir ka harami?” A senior asked during one of the GR, “2 ghante me pata kar lena!” And nobody came to rescue but Facebook.
  2. “Dude, the chick dancing on forces freshers was smoking hot!” And the first thing to be done was dropping her a request on facebook 😉
  3. “Okay guys, from now on, all official updates of classes will be shared on facebook. GT’s, Assignment Photographs” to confessions, compliments and proposals, our facebook life has come a long way.

Though during these three years, I also realised what a guy should know before entering an engineering college about being on facebook.

  1. Study- Never ever, ever, make your timeline look like you are some kind of nerd. Keep the study talks to your head. Never ever ask anybody, how much he/she has studied, anywhere on facebook. Disregarding this may lead you ending up in offline chat lists, unsubscribed acquaintances list, and even blocked lists.
  2. Never, ever tell anyone where are you, (check in), unless either you are with some hot chick, or with a whole gang. Checking in at some mediocre restaurant with room mate of yours make you look like a douche.
  3. Profile Pictures- Guys! The world is biased. Pretty dps make it very easy for girls to survive online. They get followers on twitter and requests on facebook, just by their dps. So, unless you think your dp hasn’t got any eerie factor attached to it, never make it your dp.
  4. Cover Photos- This is something that is public. Use it to cover your ass in as good way as possible. Quote a legend, (like I’ve done), or put something that makes you look like an interesting persona. Humour also helps. Never put the same picture of your dp as your cover pic. It’s just sad.
  5. Bio- Actually, this is irrelevant, unless someone comes stalking for your email. Anyhow, never put something that puts your image in jeopardy. When I was first filling this on my profile, I realised this and so spammed that column so badly that it’s just bloody unreadable.
  6. Status Updates- It is a very important part. Never post status updates that are either incomprehensible to a major part or are drunk scribbled
  7. Video Posts- Never post videos you haven’t seen. It’s quite simple. Isn’t it? People do post videos they themselves haven’t seen.
  8. Birthdays- Guys, this is a cruel world. Not many guys, who are straight simply gives a fuck how you look with your face covered in cake. And as far as girls are concerned, they simply are too busy watching their own pics. So, not as a suggestion, as a request, please never ever post your own birthday pics. They look simply sick and in most of the cases, lead to the dire consequences listed above. Though if you decide to do trekking or paragliding on your birthday instead, you are most welcome on facebook. 😀
  9. Result- When you are in an Engineering college, you should know a fact. No matter how were the papers, no matter how much you scored, there are always many people in your batch that end up screwing their results. They may be your very good friends as well. So, unless you are sure that each and every of your facebook buddy has made it to the top, never post your damn good percentage and marks. I have seen people even posting their individual marks of every subjects, blabbering how they broke record of highest marks in college. And some even cross the limits, posting a status about 80% marks and telling how much better they could have done. It is something like an online murder guys. Refrain from this. 😀
  10. And guys, staying online for 20 hours a day is not going to help you in any way. Enough Said. 😀

Cheers to Jukkerbarg 😀 Stay blessed 🙂

 
6 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Exams-Facebook-Nautankiya

Exams have been heavy. Wake up when half of the day has already passed and study till the rest of the world gets up the next day and repeat. In between, there are loads and loads of frustrating, depressing and demotivating moments. Moments when the thoughts scenario ranges from understanding the subject you have been studying to realising what a waste of life it is to devote a month in exams. 🙂
Well, in between again, several things also go along. Tweeting every few minutes and being online on Facebook for every moment you are awake. Breaks, which are bigger in time dimension than the actual study periods tells that you are doing your engineering correct. 😀
So, it happened like this. It was software engineering paper and everybody was frustrating to the marks. As usually happens in a boy’s hostel, everybody was sitting together in a room, with the “Bakar” session going on.
I was sitting holding book while reading nothing at all, just like others. Occasionally, now and then, somebody will say something and will try to make the atmosphere lighter.
Suddenly, a “bhai” from the room adjacent came shouting,
“Bhai, ma c*** di. Abe vo chutiya fir se vo first year wali ke sath pic upload kia be”
And as usual, he got mixed responses.
“Kaun be? Bandi ka naam kya hai?”
“Abe to thik hai na, jee raha hai apni zindagi, jee lene do”
“Haan yaar bhai, aese kya, tumko kya chulla hai” I also added.
The dude who just entered was taken aback from the unexpected responses. Usually, everybody would have cheered or said random or funny things which would have killed the next few minutes before everybody would have returned again to their books. 😛
“Nahi be, tum samajh nahi rahe ho, pic kholo aur caption padho” He said.
So, everybody peeked at the nearby laptop and one dude searched for the pic.
“Abe mere me add nahi hai, tu kar ke dekh”
So, another dude came and logged in and finally made the picture available.
“Yes, a girl and a guy can be just friends. Forever.” The caption said.
Peeking through the heads, I saw a young beautiful girl standing with the guy who was the topic of discussion. Once everybody saw the picture, random thoughts started coming in.
“Abe behen hogi” 😛
“Abe kat gaya hoga, aur kya likhega fir” Another suggested that the guy in the picture must have been friendzoned.
I was, as always listening to the random thoughts. Of all the people in the room, I was the one who knew that guy most. I forgot to mention, seeing the caption of the pic, my immediate response was a smile. Because I knew that the guy in the picture, was not of type who would wish to remain “just friends” with a girl. He was the one of the type “Bhai, ek ladki dila de”. LOL. And so, before any more comments came, I said, “Bhai logo, bohot bure haal se nikla hai vo abhi, let it go” and so everybody moved to discuss how harassing a surname PADUKONE is. 😀

Post Script:

Guys and girls out there. It is now an era when even the first year kids entering an engineering college well know the meaning of friendship and the difference between friends and attention seekers. So, if you shout “Bhai ek ladki dila de” in pubic quite often, don’t upload pics on social networking media carrying a caption “Friends” when you eventually find one. This may drive your respect to all time low levels. Because friendship doesn’t require any captions. 😀

Disclaimer:

All the thoughts, characters, events and the whole sole article is work of pure imagination. Read to laugh. Keep calm and keep studying. 🙂

Another Note:

Site has been de-indexed from search engines. Reasons many. Site is well alive and running. Thank you for your honest reviews, opinions and kindly shares. Means a lot. 🙂

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 26, 2013 in Fun!!As i call it!

 

Letting Go

Neurologists say there is a very slick line between obsessed and paranoid. Be obsessed about something for a considerable period of time and chances are fair, that the world will start behaving as you are paranoid. Obsession is defined as a persistent preoccupation, idea, or feeling. Psychiatry define it as a persistent idea or impulse that continually forces its way into consciousness, often associated with anxiety and mental illness. Apart these fancy definition, we usually define obsession as something that make us do things, which are necessary to fulfil our longing of something, or someone.
Yoga gurus in their camps, usually tell people to lose themselves free. It is known as Vairagya in yoga. Stretch two hands out, take a deep breath, and exhale the tensions and lose yourself with the breaths. No offense, but Dafaq? This is no way to lose! How is one supposed to lose himself when he is going through some very deep crisis in his life?
Crisis occur when you get company in life when you least expect it. Obsession is the secondary stage of goal forming. Many entrepreneurs, while delivering their success speeches in universities, tell how they dreamt, got obsessed and made it there. But only their friends, their hard working second managers, who have been there with them throughout know that due course, there were times when they gave them a shoulder to weep on, a hug to hold on. Not a yoga guru, who told them to stretch their hands out and say lol. 😀
Crisis management in companies is usually done by calling a company of stakeholders and taking the opinions of big share holders. Crisis management in an Indian kitchen is usually done by wife calling the husband, making some lovey dovey conversations and then asking for the favours. Crisis management in an examination hall full of friends is usually done by a collective effort from all directions, to help the guy who you think will be left behind. Similarly, crisis management is done in life with friends, and family. Not with yoga gurus, and by own.
To get over an obsession, or crisis, you need management. To get management, you need to call out for help. This involves basically a simple idea, to let go of you. Now, here losing yourself specifically means calling for help, and letting your friends take over it. But for that, you need to learn how to trust. Simple idea can illustrate the fact.
Take out your vehicle and go for a drive on a straight highway, preferably empty. Once you have reached quite some speed, try closing your both eyes and continue driving. Easy one? What’s in it? Easy as walk in a park. Isn’t it?
Now go another day, take a friend of yours with you. Let him drive and close your eyes without holding to him. Once you reach the same speed, something will begin to twitch inside you. Thoughts will start coming to you that what if a car suddenly came from ahead and you will not see it?
This is a classic example of how human beings are unable to trust. Odds of getting yourself killed while you are driving are quite high as compared to the latter case. Still, we behave the other way around.
Once you start to trust, life becomes very simple. Trust them, they either make you what you wanted or they let you down. Either way, you get something. Call it a lesson in the latter case. Similarly, calling out friends in crisis or when you know that some obsession is taking over your life, never does wrong. At last trust is what that drives this world. Isn’t it?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 22, 2013 in Friendship, My Collection

 
 
%d bloggers like this: